Boredom-Fueled Blog

I recently read another ridiculous list put out by Rolling Stone magazine, this one counting down the 30 best albums of 2010. As is the custom with lists made by Rolling Stone, it was terrible. It included only four albums I’ve ever heard of and only one I own. So, I thought to myself: someone should make sure the Internet knows that there actually was good music in 2010. And then I remember that I have a blog. Who better than me to tell people what I think?
- The year started pretty slow in the music world, besides Ringo Starr’s Y Not, which I didn’t buy, but was probably pretty decent because it featured Paul McCartney on a couple songs.
- The first good album of 2010 was Jimi Hendrix’s Valleys of Neptune with it’s energetic title track, and it’s certifiably insane version of “Sunshine of Your Love.” I can only assume that Rolling Stone omitted this from their list because most of it was recorded in 1969. Still…
- The music and entertainment world was rocked when Conan O’Brien announced a 32-city tour featuring comedy and music. Those of us who weren’t lucky enough to get tickets, were very happy to hear that Conan would be releasing a live vinyl album! This album blew my mind, plain and simple. Stand-out tracks are… all of them. And I’m not just saying this because I’m a big fan of Conan’s comedy. If I had never heard of Conan, and someone played me this album, I’d still be blown away. As if Conan alone didn’t bring enough star power, Jack White plays and sings on the already-legendary recording of “Twenty Flight Rock.” How this got past Rolling Stone is beyond me.
- September was the month that produced the most good music in 2010. It brought us new albums by the Vaselines and the Blue Van. Now, you may be saying, “I’ve never heard of either of those bands. How can they be good?” Well, to quote Bart Simpson, “No offence, lady, but what you don’t know could fill a warehouse.” I’ll catch you up to speed: The Vaselines are indie heroes. These kids running around today calling themselves “indie” should take one listen to The Vaselines, and then they’ll know what real indie is. Take a listen to some classic Vaselines (“Son of a Gun,” “No Hope”) and some new Vaselines (“I Hate the ’80s”) and tell me they’re not awesome. And as for The Blue Van, you’ve probably heard them, without knowing it. Their song “There Goes My Love” was featured in the world-famous iPad commercial, but that song is only the tip of the awesome-iceberg. Their 2010 album “Love Shot” is mind-blowingly creative and innovative without abandoning their trademark ’60s sound. (By the way, they also released an unplugged EP called “Fame and Glory” that’s pretty darn good itself.)
- September also brought us Robert Plant’s “Band of Joy,” which was the only halfway-decent album included on Rolling Stone‘s list, but between you, me, and the tag cloud, I didn’t think this album was anything to write home about. Good, not great.
- Now here’s my pick for the best album of 2010, and it’s mainstream enough that Rolling Stone should’ve at least put it in their top thirty: Fistful of Mercy’s As I Call You Down. Odds are you’ve heard of at least one member of this supergroup: Dhani Harrison, Ben Harper and Joseph Arthur. Most reviewers have commented on how their harmonies resemble that of The Beatles, but, for my money, they sound more like Crosby, Stills and Nash – so much so that I kind of expect Neil Young to instinctively join them for their next album.
- I also want to mention an amazing live album by Trey Anastasio (you know him as the lead guitarist of Phish) and the Scorchio Quintet (you don’t know them). Trey plays acoustic guitar and piano and he’s backed by a string quintet. The album‘s currently available for free download, so why not check it out?
So, I think I’ve once again successfully put a major respected publication to shame. I think Rolling Stone‘s learned not to mess with me. You’re next, Saturday Evening Post!

Music

In my effort to jump on every bandwagon on the Internet (except Facebook), I’m considering starting my very own “web comic” sarcastic exclamation point !
Here’s the first one I came up with:

Web Comics

If we’re to believe TV shows and movies (and we are), the “future” is going to be a pretty cool place. The medium of film is getting to an age where the future of old movies is now the past of real life – and usually the “predictions” were untrue. For example, “Conquest of the Planet of the Apes” would have us believe that all cats and dogs went extinct in 1983.
Anyway, I think it’s time we look into the future (the future, Conan?) with this timeline I’ve compiled of future events from film and television.

2010: The Simpsons episode “Lisa’s Wedding,” original air-date: March 19, 1995.
Humanoid robots perform many of our daily tasks (although they have a tendency to develop emotions and explode). Many trees are now just holograms. Big Ben has gone digital.
2015: Back to the Future, Part II, original release: November 22, 1989.
Hovering is all the rage, from HoverCars to HoverBoards. Clothes and shoes are now designed to automatically fit perfectly. We can watch television through our eyeglasses and cook a pizza in mere seconds.
2022: Soylent Green, original release: April 19, 1973.
New York City is a polluted dump with a population of 40,000,000. The poor are fed a high-energy vegetable concentrate that – gasp, spoiler – is made out of people. In more shocking future-news, strawberries now cost $150 a jar.
2026: Metropolis, original release: January 10, 1927.
There are now two distinct classes of people: those who live above ground in a lush, beautiful city; and those who live under ground in a dirty, polluted factory/city. Humanoid robots are so finely crafted that they can be mistaken for real humans.
2062: The Jetsons episode “Rosey the Robot,” original air-date: September 23, 1962.
People now commute to work in space-crafts (which conveniently morph into suitcases). Something called “space-boots” allow us to walk on ceilings and walls. Clunky robots can be hired as maids (built-in vacuum cleaner not included).
2688: Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, original release: February 17, 1989.
Bowling scores are up; mini golf scores are down. The water-park has been perfected and it is most excellent. A single heavy-metal CD has ended all wars and poverty.
2805: WALL-E, original release: June 27, 2008.
Earth is a barren wasteland filled with garbage. Very few robots roam the landscape collecting the garbage. Other robots search for signs of life on the planet. The human race lives on a spacecraft; they have become overweight and lazy (except for Fred Willard who seems to be doing fine).
3000: Futurama episode “Space Pilot 3000,” original air-date: March 28, 1999.
The New York City Subway system has been replaced by an elaborate system of tubes. Many mutant/alien races, as well as (surly) robots, are common sights on Earth. Cryogenically sustaining human heads in jars is a common practice. Deep space travel is a daily routine for many.
3978: Planet of the Apes, original release: February 8, 1968.
Earth is now a mostly barren wasteland with relatively primitive cities run by anthropomorphic primates. The human race is uncivilized and in incapable of speech. Humans are used for scientific research, done by the apes.

So, all in all, we have a lot of great things to look forward to (aside from the severe over-population, eventual evacuation from earth, and the enslavement of humankind by apes).

Films/Movies, Television Future