Boredom-Fueled Blog

Here is a list of the one-hundred best things about “The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien” that I made because I was bored and because Conan’s “Tonight Show” is over. Many of these sound completely random when read out of context, so if you don’t have a firm grasp of the greatness that was “The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien” prepare to be confused. In no particular order:
Choco Taco, “Tonight Show” Tour-iffic Tram-taculars, In the Year 3000, recording for Anime, Norm MacDonald, sarcastic applause, Wax Tom Cruise, Wax Fonzie at a urinal, puppies dressed as Thanksgiving dinner, Bugatti Veyron dressed as a mouse while “Satisfaction” plays, stuntman Steven Ho, a bust of Conan made of white chocolate (or was it Swiss cheese? I can’t remember.), William Shatner, Twitter Tracker, Conan’s vampire assistant Cody Devereaux, Conan’s wolf-boy assistant, Conan’s Frankenstein assistant, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, velcro Christmas tree, Jordan Schlansky, Andy’ll Try It, Celebrity Survey, Celebrity Survey’s theme music, impatient scuba diver, puppies dressed as cats, reading Sarah Palin’s tweets, Wing Pang, Small Talk Moments, Deon Cole, Mike Merritt’s inner thoughts, Conan, Please Blow Up My Car, PeeWee Herman’s Thanksgiving play, Wax Conan, the International Symbol for Larry King, “Super Mario Bros.” backdrop, Aaron Bleyaert’s web game, Ed Helms, Christmas ornament bazooka, chanting “Circle”, NBC bootlickery (June 1, 2009-January 10, 2010), NBC bashing (January 10, 2010-present), Stillerstrong vs. Livestrong, that hair, shooting things/people out of cannons, nerd impressions, the concussion…, Stuart Wexler, Tom Hanks gets hit by a meteorite, Pierre Bernard, James Wormworth’s barefoot drumming, puppies dressed as Frankenst- The Interrupter, “The Tonight Show” for sale on Craigslist, the letter “D” from the Hollywood sign, Conan’s Tabloid Moment, Conan plays “Till There Was You” on a heavy metal double guitar, LaBamba, Conan and Andy on the Aisle, Andy Richter, the USC Marching Band annoys Jordan Schlansky, Max Weinberg’s brown suits, Conan’s father, The “Tonight Show” back row dancers/dog circus/Hamster 500, Noches de Pasion con Senor O’Brien, “Tonight Show” Traffic-copter, Audiencey Awards, Conan meets his neighbors, Conan vs. Newark, a message from Conan’s peers, Tiger Woods joke caddy, LaBamba’s mustache, slamming the microphone on the desk, new state quarters, “Tonight Show” Kiss-Cam, NASA lost the original moon landing footage in the ’80s, Comcast bootlicking, Dumbledore goes Hollywood, Domino’s Pizza employees fall like dominoes, Max Weinberg’s rare rim-shot, adding subtitles to foreign language footage, Andy schools Wolf Blitzer on “Celebrity Jeopardy!”, audience plugs, Blame It on LaBamba, smashing pumpkins with monster trucks, Checking in on Max in Europe, the Eisenhower mug, the heavyset Peruvian President Alan Garcia Pérez, stringdancing, Andy’s motorized podium, 1992 Ford Taurus, America’s New Oprah (including “Leprechaun in the Hood,” a calendar of extraordinary chickens, and “Killdozer” the movie about a bulldozer that comes to life and starts killing everything), A Holiday song for Mormons, how do you spell “shaba-shaba… hi!”?, Learning About the News While on the News, puppies dressed as the nativity scene, Mine That Bird dressed in a mink Snuggie watching restricted NFL Super Bowl footage, Neil Young’s completely ironic performance of “Long May You Run,” Will Ferrell’s completely incredible performance of “Free Bird,” the twelve-foot tall Jehova’s Witnesses, and LaBamba’s hat getting taken to the rafters by his “In the Year 3000″ prop.

Lists, Television Conan O'Brien

Can you tell the difference between Conan O’Brien’s impression of Larry King and his impression of Sarah Palin? Take a close look at the pictures below. Use your mouse to hover over them to find out which is which.

Television Conan O'Brien, Late Night TV

“Shoulda, but didn’t.” – Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel. I say this almost every time somebody says the word “should’ve.” Original context: This quote originates from “The Twisted World of Marge Simpson” where Cletus gets 300 free pretzels thanks to 300 free-pretzel coupons. Marge says, “Hmm… I should’ve put, ‘Limit one per customer’” and Cletus says in his southern tone, “Shoulda, but didn’t.” Example: “I should’ve washed the dog.” “Shoulda, but didn’t.”

“Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.” – Homer. I use this quote any time I or someone around me fails at something. Original context: This quote is from “Burns’ Heir” when neither Bart or Lisa were chosen as Burns’ heir. Example: “I can’t believe I just got last place in the 100-meter dash.” “The lesson is: never try.”

“Money can be exchanged for goods and services.” – Homer’s Brain. I say this quote every time I go shopping. Original context: Homer wants peanuts but instead finds a twenty dollar bill. His brain explains a simple form of how the economy works.

“I bet I’ll get blamed for this.” – Mayor Quimby. Original context: After Mayor Quimby makes jokes about the French’s resemblance to frogs, they launch a nuclear warhead at Springfield. Seeing the warhead go by his office window, Quimby says this line. Example: I would say this line if I am obviously at fault for something such as knocking an expensive vase onto the floor or deleting the computer’s hard drive.

Television Lists, The Simpsons