A is for American Gladiators. In “American Gladiators” you can compete in five different events: Joust, Wall, Powerball, Assault, and, my personal favorite, Human Cannonball. You can play with one or two players. The controls are difficult to use, the human characters barely look human in their 8-bit form, and each level starts with an encouraging comment from one of the gladiators; this game has every ingredient of the recipe for the making of a classic NES game.
B is for Bump ‘n’ Jump. “Bump ‘n’ Jump” features everything you’ve always loved about NES racing games – namely the cool animated explosion when you crash – with the added fun of the ability the not only bumping, but also jumping while you race (hence the name “Bump ‘n’ Jump”).
C is for Contra. “Contra” is everything that “Super Mario Bros.” is not. In “Super Mario Bros.” you play as a pudgy, yet lovable, Italian plumber off on an adventure to fight relatively non-threatening turtles. In “Contra” you play as a military commando on a mission to infiltrate the secret headquarters of an alien army plotting to take over and possibly destroy the earth. Plus, “Contra” has great controls; I love being able to jump and shoot at the same time.
D is for Donkey Kong. Ah… sometimes I like to reminisce about the days when Mario was a carpenter, Donkey Kong was his enemy, and annoying peripheral characters like Toadette and Baby Daisy were just a twinkle in Shigeru Miyamoto’s eye. This truly was a simpler time for gaming.
E is for Excitebike. “Excitebike” is basically the “Mario Kart Wii” of the day. (Actually “BS Excitebike: Bun Bun Mario Battle Stadium” is the real “Mario Kart Wii” of that day, as it is an exact replica of “Excitebike” with Mario characters as the riders, but it was only released in Japan for the Satellaview.) Anyway… where was I? Ah, yes: “Excitebike” is very similar to “Mario Kart Wii” in that they both feature motorbikes, they both have crazy jumps, and when you crash it takes about ten second to get back at a reasonable pace.
F is for Felix the Cat. Usually, when a video game is based on a TV or movie character, the game is terrible, but that’s not the case with “Felix the Cat.” This game is your average everyday sidescroller with the added ability of being able to drive cars and tanks, fly a plane, maneuver a hot air balloon, and more. The downside of this game is that it’s not very difficult… I’ve beaten the game in about an hour without using any cheats or warp zones.
G is for George Foreman’s KO Boxing. If you like “Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!” you’ll love this rip-off released five years after “Punch-Out!!” This is one of the strangest games I’ve ever played. The very first boxer you go up against is George Foreman himself. Once you lose, you’ll view a page of your stats from the round. That page is sponsored by Dorito’s… There isn’t much competition in the “G” category except maybe “Golf” or “Ghosts ‘n Goblins.”
H is for Harlem Globetrotters. Again, not much competition among games beginning with “H.” This game is somewhat entertaining for a few minutes. However, the game follows every rule of basketball very strictly, so I often find myself getting something called a “Backcourt Violation” or a “5-Second Violation.”
I is for Ice Climber. As annoying as the Ice Climbers are in “Super Smash Bros. Melee” and “Brawl,” they make a pretty fun NES game. I wouldn’t mind a 3D remake of some kind, which has been rumored since “Super Smash Bros. Melee.” I wouldn’t buy it, buy I wouldn’t mind it.
J is for Jackie Chan’s Action Kung Fu. In “Jackie Chan’s Action Kung Fu” you play as Jackie Chan, running through Asia, killing frogs and Bengal tigers with your awesome kick moves. It also contains a very fun special side-game where you jump from cloud to cloud. It’s more fun than it sounds.
K is for Kid Icarus. Another game that needs a modern adaption is “Kid Icarus.” After Pit’s appearance in “Super Smash Bros. Brawl” it’s clear that he would be incredible in a 3D adventure game as he was in this game. His bow and arrow would be as great today as it was back in “Kid Icarus”‘s time.
L is for Little Samson. “Little Samson” is one of the most unique sidescrolling video games I’ve ever played… think “Super Mario Bros. 2″ meets “Mega Man 4.” You can play as one of four characters: a young boy named Samson, Kikira, a dragon who can fly, Gamm, a Golem, and K. O. a very quick, very small mouse.
M is for Mega Man 6. Of all the Mega Man games, I’d have to say “Mega Man 6″ is my favorite. It’s not much different than any of the others, but it’s definitely not worse than the others.
N is for Nightmare on Elm Street. Yet again, there is not much competition among NES games beginning with the letter “N” so a sub-par game makes the list. “Nightmare on Elm Street” is a strange game with too many enemies running around the course. This has my second favorite death of any NES game: when you lose a life in “Nightmare on Elm Street” you actually become an angel and ascend into heaven. (My number one favorite death is from “City Connection.” When you crash your van it explodes into a barrage of hearts.)
O is for Operation Wolf. “Operation Wolf” is like a rougher-around-the-edges version of “Duck Hunt” in that you’re shooting men, tanks, and choppers instead of ducks and that darn dog (or at least trying to shoot him).
P is for Paperboy 2. “Paperboy” was the definitive game for all the people who wanted to be a paperboy, but didn’t want to make money and would rather pay money to buy a simulation game. The problem with “Paperboy” was that every version I’ve ever played had some weird glitch where you couldn’t steer the bike. “Paperboy 2″ actually allowed you to throw the papers and steer the bike.
Q is for Q*bert. This is a no-brainer. It’s the only NES game beginning with “Q” I’ve ever played, and there’s only four others. I played this game for about an hour before I realized that you’re supposed to avoid those falling balls, and not catch them.
R is for Rad Racer 2. It’s not so much the gameplay that makes “Rad Racer 2″ so fun; it’s actually the steering wheel-shaped controller that you get to use. The original NES Wheel makes the Wii Wheel look like a piece of garbage (which it already looks like anyway). My main gripe with the Wii Wheel has always been that it’s not weighted down, but the “Rad Racer” wheel was very weighted; you have to lick those pads and stick it to a flat surface…. it’s great…
S is for Super Mario Bros. 3. Unlike G, H, N, O, and Q, there is a lot of great titles among the letter “S”, and that’s just in the “Super Mario” series. Honorable Mention: “Ski or Die,” “Snow Brothers,” “Spider Man: Return of the Sinister Six,” and “Spy vs. Spy.” As great as all of those games are, I can’t think of very many games, past or present, that live up to the simplistic-yet-amazing greatness of “Super Mario Bros. 3.”
T is for Tetris. (I also need to mention “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters” because that is an amazing game, but I couldn’t bring myself to pick anything but “Tetris” for “T”.) “Tetris” may be the best video game ever. It’s so insanely addicting. After playing “Tetris” for about an hour you start to see common objects as “Tetris” shapes.
U is for The Untouchables. And now, not for the last time, I must pick a lame game because no good games start with “U”. In “The Untouchables” you must shoot a bunch of people in an alley, but there’s no easy way to aim the gun.
V is for Volleyball. All the excitement of playing real live volleyball without the torture of moving or standing.
W is for Wario’s Woods. This is the first, and so far only, video game to ever be stolen from me. It’s a long story involving pawn shops, PlayStations, and lemonade. And now “Wario’s Woods” has a special place in my heart. There’s something about playing as a peripheral character in the Mario series (Toad) stacking deformed woodland creatures while fighting against a chubby elf (Wario) and his egg-spitting lick-spittle (Birdo) that’s very cool.
X is for Xenophobe. A very strange game in which you must kill a bunch of weird aliens in some sort of high-tech base. The whole game seems like something somebody from the 1960s would dream up when trying to envision what the 1990s would be like.
Y is for Yoshi’s Cookie. After years of fighting Kongs, Goombas, and Koopas it’s time for Mario to settle down and open a bakery, and he’s designed a cookie after his friend Yoshi. In “Yoshi’s Cookie,” you must align different types of cookies as more fall from different angles. This game has one of the most annoying pieces of background music ever.
Z is for Zombie Nation. This may be the most underrated Nintendo Entertainment System game ever. Finally, after saving the land of Hyrule and the Mushroom Kingdom, banning an irritable primate from your greenhouse, and inhaling your way through a “Dream Land” you get to really cut loose and let out your aggression in “Zombie Nation.” You play as a giant severed zombie head who terrorizes a large city.
Nintendo
Lists, NES
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