Boredom-Fueled Blog

Honorable Mention: Uter, Flanders, Benjamin, Doug, and Gary.

10. Jasper Beardley. First appearance “Bart the General.” Grampa’s bearded friend from the Retirement Castle. Notable accomplishments: stealing Matlock’s pills, substitute-teaching the second grade at Springfield Elementary (and getting his beard caught in the pencil sharpener), avoiding the war draft by dressing as a woman, being shot in his wooden leg by Smithers, and freezing himself in the Kwik-E-Mart ice cream freezer in order to one day see the future. A favorite quote: “Hey, the drive thru’s for driving, not for parking.”

9. Troy McClure. First appearance “Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment.” Hi, he’s Troy McClure you might remember him from such cheesy TV specials, educational film strips and movies as “Man vs. Nature, Road to Victory,” “Mommy, What’s Wrong with that Man’s Face?” “Leper in the Backfield,” “Five Fabulous Weeks of the Chevy Chase Show,” and “The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel.” He’s Springfield’s resident washed-up movie star! A favorite quote: “If you ask me they’re all winners!… we’ll be cutting our first 40 contestants right after this.”

8. Fat Tony. First appearance “Bart the Murderer.” Fat Tony is one of those classic underrated characters that we take for granted because it seems like he’s always been there, but after 20 years of the Simpsons, few things delight me more than to see the Springfield Mafia at work, like in such classic moments as running every food vendor out of town (“The Twisted World of Marge Simpson”), serving rat milk to Springfield Elementary students (“Mayored to the Mob”), and giving Principal Skinner a good talking to (“Bart the Murderer”).

7. Ralph. First appearance “Moaning Lisa.” Ralph is a great character if used correctly. He must be completely random (“My cat’s name is mittens”). He must have that blissful innocence that we love (“My worm went in my mouth and I ate it”). He must have that little glint in his eyes that makes us think he might just be a secret genius (“I’m Ralph Wiggum, and I’ve been a good boy!”). A favorite quote: “What’s a diorama?” [Seconds before winning a diorama contest.]

6. Milhouse. First appearance “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire.” Milhouse has evolved very much over the series and each step on his evolutionary scale is as hilarious as the last. He starts out as Bart’s equally rambunctious friend, and eventually moves on to being a nerd (and proud of it, sometimes). Lately, he’s just become a sidekick to Bart’s wacky schemes. Plus, you’ve got to love those eyebrows. A favorite quote: “…if you say you’re a vampire, you get a free small soda at the movies.”

5. Lionel Hutz. First appearance “Bart Gets Hit by a Car.” Also known as Miguel Sanchez. Admit it – you’d hire Lionel Hutz as your lawyer just to get a few good laughs, even though you’d undoubtedly lose the case. He is the attorney of “I Can’t Believe it’s a Law Firm,” located in Springfield Mall. A favorite quote: “These books behind me don’t just make the office look good; they’re filled with useful legal tidbits just like that!”

4. Hans Moleman. First appearance “Principal Charming.” Hans Moleman is the closest thing Springfield has to a zombie, seeing as how he has repeatedly died and keeps coming back only to be killed again. Also, he’s completely blind without his glasses which caused him to drive the birthplace of Edgar Allen Poe into a ditch. Speaking of driving, he once drove his Gremlin off the road, almost hitting a tree; it doesn’t hit a tree, but his car explodes anyway. A favorite quote: “Ow… my brains…”

3. Declan Desmond. First appearance “‘Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky.” Very few good characters have been introduced in the past fifteen years on the Simpsons; all the good quirky characters were introduced in the first five or six years (e. g. Bumblebee Man, Captain McCallister, Uter). But Declan Desmond is a great character – he’s voiced by a Rutle! – and he’s also a former Monty Python cast member (Eric Idle). I greatly enjoy any medium that involves a snooty British filmmaker.

2. Sideshow Bob. First appearance “The Telltale Head.” The sequence of events surrounding Sideshow Bob is funny every time. It starts with him getting out of jail somehow, and eventually he works his way into the Simpson home [maybe as a maid ("Cape Feare") or dating Marge's sister, Selma ("Black Widower")]. Then, Bob puts his evil plan to kill Bart into action [a simple stabbing ("Cape Feare") or an elaborate stunt involving a faked death ("Funeral for a Fiend")] Here’s an example of how much I love Sideshow Bob: over a year ago, when I read the spoiler for “Funeral for a Fiend” that Sideshow Bob had died, I had laid out the preliminary plans for a “We Miss You Bob” web page which would’ve been filled with angry notes to the producers about how crazy they were for killing off Bob…

1. Comic Book Guy. First appearance “Three Men and a Comic Book.” Comic Book Guy epitomizes every obsessive Simpsons fan. He is a giant (both figuratively and literally) nerd. You show me a nerd, and I’ll show you a bigger nerd: Comic Book Guy. At various points he has been in possession of: a Mary Worth telephone, Radioactive Man # 1, a photograph of Sean Connery signed by Roger Moore, and the Ultimate Pog – featuring Steve Allen.
“Worst. Top Ten Simpsons Characters List. Ever.”

Television Lists, The Simpsons

Yes, the Beatles are on iTunes – you’ve just got to know where to find them…
Obviously no official Beatles album is on iTunes as of this writing and Apple is losing money every day by not putting them on iTunes because hard-core Beatle fans are just buying the CDs in the stores… but, if you know where to look for the Beatles, you’ll find that they’re scattered all over iTunes. Here is a list of the best places to look for the Beatles on iTunes:

In Songs by Other Bands The Rolling Stones. Sometimes Lennon/McCartney would write songs and give them to other bands; such is the case with the song “I Wanna Be Your Man” which the Rolling Stones recorded. Also, Lennon and McCartney sing backing vocals on “Sing This All Together.” Badfinger. Badfinger was considered to be something of a “Beatles Jr.” at the time, and Paul McCartney wrote a song for them: “Come and Get It.” Eric Clapton. George Harrison (and possibly Ringo Starr) co-wrote “Badge” with Eric Clapton.

On Weird Little Unofficial Albums Actually, there’s only one weird little unofficial album, but it’s also the only album on iTunes to actually credit the artist as “The Beatles” or in some cases “The Beatles & Tony Sheridan.” The album is called In the Beginning and it features some songs they recorded in the early ’60s while they served as the backing band for Tony Sheridan. A couple of the songs from the album do appear on an official album; “Ain’t She Sweet,” “Cry For A Shadow,” and “My Bonnie” all appear on Anthology 1.

In Live Albums from Their Solo Careers John Lennon: He played “Come Together” on Live in New York and “Yer Blues” on Live Peace in Toronto, 1969. Paul McCartney has released some of the best live albums ever. I recommend Back in the U. S. George Harrison released two live albums – The Concert for Bangla Desh (which is, for some reason, not on iTunes) and Live in Japan on which he played “Here Comes the Sun,” “Taxman,” and “Something” among others. Ringo Starr released more live albums than any other Beatle- a whopping ten (most of them with his All-Starr band). Several times, he has played some of his most popular songs: “With a Little Help from my Friends,” “Yellow Submarine,” and “I Wanna Be Your Man.”

Music iTunes, The Beatles

Conan O’Brien is leaving Late Night to take over the Tonight Show. His last show is February 20th, and his first show on the Tonight Show is June 1st.
Over the years, he has done many (bad) celebrity impressions, some of them timeless, some timely, some of them obscure, some not so obscure, all of them funny to look at.

Governor Rod Blagojevich This is one of those timely Conan O’Brien celebrity impressions that is already dated. He only did it once, but several times throughout Blagojevich’s fame he mentioned how much Blagojevich looked like a Lego man.

John McCain (or any elderly person) Conan is known for his… not quite ‘hatred’… of the elderly (or at least he’s known for this to anyone who listened to the Simpsons DVD audio commentary for “Marge vs. Monorail”). Anyway, his impression of John McCain and other elderly people is often accompanied by him stroking an imaginary beard and saying, “I’m old,” in a rhaspy voice.

Dr. Phil McGraw Conan has done this one a couple of times. Usually Conan says something mildly offensive and mentions how Dr. Phil will be angry about his comment (sometimes even when Dr. Phil is a guest on the show that night), and Conan makes the face seen on the left while he rapidly nods his head and says, “I don’t like that, Co-NAN.”

Jeff Ross Jeff Ross is Conan’s producer on Late Night. Conan’s impression of him usually involves crossing his arm and quickly muttering things like, “You shouldn’t have done that… I like it all up until you did that… shouldn’t have done that.” This usually happens after Conan “goes too far” during one of his mimings such as miming that he’s licking Larry King… speaking of which…

Larry King Conan’s impression (or international symbol of) Larry King is probably his most used and most popular. It involves Conan using his fingers to make glasses (in a fashion similar to his Sarah Palin impression) and then miming snapping his suspenders.

Television Conan O'Brien, Late Night TV