Boredom-Fueled Blog

Last year I put Rolling Stone magazine to shame, by rattling off (off the top of my head) a string of albums released in 2010 that were lightyears better than any of the ones on their list. This year, I’ve decided to strike early, and preemptively put their list to shame, while hoping that maybe my list won’t be too far of from theirs.

Amazing Albums That Won’t Be on Rolling Stone‘s List
- Alpocalypse by “Weird Al” Yankovic. In this age when so much music is designed to make the listener feel depressed (that’s what rap is, right?), I’m very happy to have Weird Al around to keep the mood light. I’d argue that Alpocalypse is his best album ever, and much of it has already been burned into my mind so thoroughly that I’ll probably be in a nursing home someday wheezing, “You can have my styrofoam peanuts.”
- The Party Ain’t Over by Wanda Jackson. And what a party! This isn’t the kind of party you’d want to attend if you have sensitive ears because there will definitely be lots of blaring horns, powerful drums and Jack White’s signature dog-aggravating guitar solos, all of which serve as the perfect complement to Wanda Jackson’s trademark voice.
- You Can’t Teach an Old Dog New Tricks by Seasick Steve. If I had to pick one album to label the definitive best of 2011 I’d probably pick this one. It’s solid rock and roll, and it better be since it features John Paul Jones on a few songs – but don’t let that star power overshadow the real star of this album, Seasick Steve himself, who makes modern blues bands like The Black Keys sound like a sixth grade talent show.
- Middle Of Everywhere by Pokey LaFarge and The South City Three. Oh, sorry. There must be some mistake here. After listening to this album I’ve determined there’s absolutely no way this was recorded in 2011. But if it was, as it claims to have been, it certainly doesn’t sound that way. I’d guess that 1930 would be more accurate… impeccable sound quality for having been recorded 80 years ago (unless it truly was made in 2011, but that couldn’t be…).
- The Black Belles by The Black Belles. For me, at least, this was the most anticipated album of the year. The Black Belles released one mind-blowing single in early 2010, and then weren’t heard from until they received The Colbert Bump in June. Their debut, released in November, does not disappoint. The only complaint is, at a mere 29 minutes, it’s entirely too short.
- Mockingbird Time by The Jayhawks. This is classic Jayhawks, right here. Think Hollywood Town Hall, without “Waiting for the Sun,” but with all the other tracks heightened and strengthened. That’s Mockingbird Time.
- Sleep With One Eye Open by Chris Thile and Michael Daves. Upon first listen this minimalist-bluegrass masterpiece seems eerily flawless, almost to the point of being robotic in its perfection, but further listens reveal layers of grittiness (and even occasional sloppiness) that really make this album what it is: the best bluegrass album of 2011. (Sorry, Steve Martin.)
Albums That Weren’t Very Good (But Might Be on Rolling Stone‘s List Anyway)
Believe it or not, I didn’t love everything I heard in 2011. One album stands out in my mind as being quite disappointing:
- How To Become Clairvoyant by Robbie Robertson. Where The Black Belles’s album was too short, How To Become Clairvoyant was much too long. Although, I suppose time really has nothing to do with it; fifty-nine minutes will fly by if the music you’re listening to is good, but this album was kind of dull (although it had a couple nice moments) and ultimately boring.
Amazing Albums That Probably Will Be on Rolling Stone‘s List
- Wild Flag by Wild Flag. I’m not going to pretend that this is the “girl punk” album I’ve been waiting for, or that I’ve been a fan of Sleater-Kinney since ’98, or that I’d even heard of any of Wild Flag’s members before I read a post on a Phish forum that convinced me to buy this album. All I know is that my ears like good music, and my ears like this.
- Helplessness Blues by Fleet Floxes. Let’s face it. This is gonna be number one on Rolling Stone‘s list and there’s nothing any of us can do about it. If this album doesn’t receive the top spot that it deserves, I’m going to seriously begin doubting Rolling Stone‘s authority. (Leave Queen and Pink Floyd off the 100 Greatest Artists list: okay. Fail to name Helplessness Blues the best album of 2011: we have a problem.)
- Rome by Danger Mouse & Daniele Luppi.Whether you’re a fan of spaghetti western soundtracks, Jack White, Norah Jones, or people named after rodents this album is sure to please you – or, at least, give you the most peaceful nap of your life.
- Hot Sauce Committee Part Two by Beastie Boys. A little context: the only other Beastie Boys album I own is Licensed to Ill, and, if memory serves, I only bought this one because it was $3.99 on Amazon, but I’m glad I did. I was planning on saying that this was an example of “good hip-hop,” but, apparently it’s so good that (at least according to Wikipedia) it had to be classified as “alternative hip-hop”.
Albums I Never Got Around to Hearing…
I’m only one man. Rolling Stone magazine is a giant faceless monster with many limbs, so naturally they get around to hearing a lot more music in any given year than I do. Here’s a few albums that are up in the air:
- So Beautiful or So What by Paul Simon. I’ve never been able to listen to Simon sans Garfunkel, so this album wasn’t a major priority for me, but I heard good things.
- Smile by The Beach Boys. I’m curious to see whether this will make Rolling Stone‘s list because they seem to have a love affair with The Beach Boys (having named Pet Sounds the second greatest album ever), but this album wasn’t actually recorded in 2011.
- Lulu by Lou Reed and Metallica. I haven’t heard this yet, and I haven’t read any reviews! I’m super excited by this unlikely yet promising match-up! I can’t wait to hear what will definitely not be an outrageously self-indulgent drone!

Well. There you have it. Your move, Rolling Stone magazine. Your move.

Lists, Music

I will be attending the final show of the last run of the second leg of the summer tour of the band Phish. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that it’ll be my first Phish show, but- hey!- I’m young! I’ve got years of Phish shows ahead of me…
In choosing my ideal Phish concert, I chose to be realistic, while remaining optimistic. This is my ideal Phish concert, not my dream Phish concert (that would include the band performing “The Mason Williams Phonograph Record” in its entirety with Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain sitting in on a cover of “Stairway to Heaven”).
I consider myself a “Phan,” but not yet a Phish-head (I think that’s how the hierarchy works), so I don’t know statistics off the top of my head, like that “The Divided Sky” has been played at 24.82 % of Phish shows.
After the show has occurred, I’ll update this post and compare my list with reality. So here it is:
UPDATE: 8/18/11. Songs highlighted in green were played. It was an awesome first show. It’s pretty cool to say you saw something that hasn’t happened since 1989 (“Colonel Forbin’s Ascent” opener). “No Quarter” blew my mind – that’s as close as I’ll ever get to seeing Led Zeppelin live.
I’m pretty proud of myself for being able to recognize the set break music because it was really quiet and pretty obscure, but I knew it. It was Chris Thile and Michael Daves’s “Sleep with One Eye Open.”
Set One
1. AC/DC Bag (“Let’s get this show on the road!”)
2. Jesus Just Left Chicago (The show will be in Chicago, after all.)
3. The Divided Sky
4. Ocelot
5. Bouncing Around the Room
6. McGrupp and the Watchful Horsemasters
7. No Quarter
8. Lawn Boy
9. Run Like an Antelope (The first Phish song I ever heard thanks to “The Simpsons.”)
10. Axilla
11. Rock & Roll
Set Two
1. Scent of a Mule
2. Scents and Subtle Sounds (Two “Scent” songs in a row!)
3. Weigh
4. Stash
5. Harpua (Ideally with a little “In-A-Gadda-da-Vida” on Jimmy’s turntable.)
6. Wolfman’s Brother
7. Tweezer Reprise
8. You Enjoy Myself
Encore
1. Loving Cup
2. Free Bird (A capella, of course.)

UPDATE: 7/19/11. I replaced “Mike’s Song” with “No Quarter.”
UPDATE: 8/3/11. It occurred to me that since this is the third night of a three night run, it’s possible “Tweezer” would be played one of the first two nights with “Tweezer Reprise” being left for the third night so in the place of “Tweezer” I added “McGrupp and the Watchful Horsemasters.”

Music Phish

One of the rare occasions when I actually shouted “I must blog about this!” occurred today. If you’re reading this, you’re probably a colossal Weird Al fan, so you know all about the Lady Gaga Saga. Before yesterday I had never heard Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” (Now that I have I wish I hadn’t.) Anyway, Weird Al’s parody, “Perform This Way,” sounded so familiar to me, and I listened to it repeatedly to try and figure out where I’d heard it. When, the twentieth time, singing along I instinctively sang “Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress, and some day you will go far… you ask if their refrigerator is running, then you tell ‘em they should go out and catch it.”
So. What we have here is: Weird Al parodied a song called “Waterfalls” as “Phony Calls” some fifteen years ago. Just yesterday, he released his parody of “Born This Way” called “Perform This Way.” As a die-hard Al fan, I noted the similarity between “Perform This Way” and “Phony Calls.” So… by the Transitive Property of Weird Al, I have determined that Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” is a rip-off of TLC’s “Waterfalls.” Thank you.

Judge for yourself:
“Phony Calls”

“Perform This Way”

Music Blowin' the Roof Off, Weird Al